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Welcome to the latest fun-filled edition of Snark Weighs In! There’s a lot to cover this week, but before I do anything, I have to give a special thanks to eagle-eyed reader Stephen Weiss who alerted me to a couple of items I surely would’ve missed, otherwise. And now, on with the show....
Late last week, a New York newspaper reported that Robert Guza, Jr., and Meg Bennett, Head Writer, and Co-Head Writer of General Hospital, had left their posts. This has since been confirmed by TV Guide Online. The newspaper article also stated that the reason Guza and Bennett left was because they were tired of having their stories dictated to them, instead of telling the stories themselves.
While everyone was busily trying to get ABC to confirm or deny this news, (ABC is notorious for not confirming anything; I don’t think they’ve confirmed Lucky is back from the dead), ABC took this opportunity to release it’s own news: James Harmon Brown and Barbara Esensten were named the new Headwriters of GH’s sister show, Port Charles. Here are selected portions from the press release that was posted Tuesday on ABC’s website, followed by my own comments:
"We are excited by Barbara and Jim's vision for 'Port Charles,' and I believe the fans are going to love what we have planned for the show," said Ms. (Angela,President of a dying lineup--er, ABC Daytime) Shapiro in making the announcement."
What vision? Anyone who has followed B&E’s career knows their vision is stale romances, triangles, murder, and mayhem. According to their most recent interview in Soap Opera Weekly, (a must read for any potential employer of B&E), they’ve only been allowed to write what they’ve been told to write. They claim that the daytime culture is such that you have to write instant ratings grabbers, not what you want to write yourself. So, either the corporate culture has changed dramatically in the past month or, B&E are once again sacrificing their (*koff, koff*) principles for a buck. I can’t wait to hear what their vision is for Port Charles. Will they claim to get this long-pointless three year old soap back to it’s roots? It doesn’t have any! More tripe follows:
“Ms. Esensten and Mr. Brown first began their successful television collaboration in 1988 as scriptwriters for the Aaron Spelling primetime drama, "Dynasty."
Successful defined by earning a paycheck.
“In 1989, they were named headwriters for "Dynasty"
...BTW, 1988-89 was the LAST season for Dynasty.
“In 1993, Ms. Esensten and Mr. Brown joined thedaytime drama, "Guiding Light," as scriptwriters...”
The only real success they’ve had.
“Later that year, they were named headwriters for the ABC Daytime drama, LOVING.”
Actually, they weren’t named headwriters until over a year later.
“During their tenure, Ms. Esensten and Mr. Brown were responsible for the "Loving" murders that captured the attention of audiences nationwide.”
???? Technically, this is true, in the sense that any show that airs on a national network will have an audience nationwide! Port Charles has a nationwide audience, but it’s low! Good grief, I’m doing a Linda Blair from this spin!
“They also served as headwriters for the ABC Daytime drama, THE CITY, and in 1995, they returned to "Guiding Light."
The City didn’t even debut until November 1995. It ended in March 1997. B&E were Co-creators and headwriters for the entire mess. The City spun out of Loving, which was canceled on B&E’s watch. Both Loving and The City aired at 12:30 pm EST. So does Port Charles. I guess the third time will be the charm, huh! But ABC can’t even get the timeframes of B&E’s career right, so I guess I can’t expect much.
Under PC’s previous headwriters (who ABC said would be staying with the show) PC seemed to be gaining ground--slowly, but gaining all the same. It is true that the ratings had not improved. But Bloom and Harris have been on the job for what--six or seven months? And this is their first time together as Headwriters. How many shows have B&E had--how many failures? It takes time for writers to get a handle on a show, and help it grow. Just ask NBC about Passions. Throwing out developing talent for the same old recycled hacks WON’T bring success. NBC is realizing, Procter and Gamble seems to be realizing this--but ABC is not? What the hell has happened to the once-cutting edge ABC daytime?
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“As for her own future, Phelps would like to stay in daytime, and acknowledges that she has “been talking to [ABC] for a while. I think the world of the bravery they have shown (with The City). I applaud that they did it, and that’s the kind of thing I would like to be able to do. I have never been a believer in going back to the old way.”
Hacks inspiring hacks. It’s a beautiful thing.
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A few weeks ago, I commented on Soapnet’s special,“The Teen Soap Scene”, which was co-hosted by Erin Torpey, OLTL’s Jessica. In the special, a segment was devoted to MTV’s Undressed, which former OLTLHeadwriter Pam Long was involved with. After the segment, Torpey commented on how nice it was to see Long back at work again. I found that statement odd then, and even more odd now. Take a look at this portion of a recent Soap Opera Digest article on teen sex in soaps:
“Erin Torpey was shocked when she turned on MTV's UNDRESSED and discovered, "It's a whole show about teens having sex." Although the show is not geared for very young viewers and airs at 11:30 p.m., Torpey said that tuning in was eye-opening. "I learned things from watching it I didn't know you could do. It has to affect you. Christian and Jessica not having sex for all that time affected people -- I got letters from people saying they were happy we weren't having sex because they wanted to wait. But on this show -- it's blatantly in your face."
Next week, Ms. Torpey will express her happiness that Claire Labine has found work on Guiding Light. Later, she’ll retract, saying that the dialogue is witty, but the plotting is kind of slow.
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I hope it’s the latter two.
Actually, I wouldn’t mind Strasser doing Passions long-term. God knows they need more experienced actors. And I need a reason to watch it more than 5 minutes a week.
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TV GUIDE reports that veteran soap scribe Donna Swajeski is developing a websoap entitled 4 o’clock 4play for www.4anything.com. The gimmick: Each episode is 60 seconds long. "It's time to find ways of telling stories in a different way, "says Swajeski. "I think the audience no longer wants to just watch, they want to get involved. It's an on-going soap with all the traditional elements of love and romance, and everyone can take something away from the show that's more than just the story."
Um, yeah. Not that I scoff at the idea of being able to do a traditional soap opera in daily sixty second doses, but…oh, who am I kidding? Of course I scoff! Scoff! Scoff! The soap debuts Oct. 4’th.
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Hannah Shearer, a writer for Port Charles, is campaigning on a seat for the Writers Guild of America Board of Directors. You can read more about it at http://www.wga.org/election00/Shearer.html. But, I’m going to quote a piece of it here:
“I'm currently working in Daytime, whose writers have been living in the woodshed so long it may take sometime to move us out. I've spoken with over twenty soapwriters recently, trying to make our voices heard, and every single one of them is certain, based on past history, that they'll be replaced by scabs in the first week of any strike. And when that strike is over, they may or may not get their jobs back. If they do, they'll be forced to work alongside the same people who scabbed." Why is this important, you may ask?
In the September 15 issue of Entertainment Weekly, Daniel Fierman has an article entitled “Quiet on the Set’’. The piece discusses the possibility of multiple writers and actors guild strikes hitting at the end of the 2000-01 season, effectively shutting down movie and TV production.
“Also primed for a labor beat down? Daytime soaps and late night, which could find themselves without writers next May. "There's no question that somebody has to continue writing those shows. Are they scabs? Well, they certainly [won't be] Guild members," says Leah Laiman (As The World Turns), a veteran soapscripter. "But these shows keep on going and they [won't] be written by network execs." The point could become moot after June 30: If soap stars and Letterman, Leno, Rosie, and Oprah walk, expect reruns to begin.”
Am I the only one who thinks soap reruns wouldn’t be such a bad idea? This could get very interesting. In the mid-80’s, there was a major writers strike that caused problems for several soaps. It was scabs, for instance, that made the decision to kill off Jesse Hubbard on AMC. And scabs helped complicate GL’s Sonni/Solita mystery to the point the audience is still scratching their heads. Of course, if the actors walk too, this will indeed be a moot point. This is still a ways down the road, so I won’t say anything for now--but remember you (might’ve) heard it here first!
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Go to http://hometown.aol.com/TVSoapThemes/index.htm. It’s a webpage mainly devoted to Soap Themes. But, currently Webmaster Brian is favoring his visitors with full-length streaming episodes of OLTL. Over the next few weeks, he’ll be uploading episodes from the week of Feb 7, 1992—the week that Megan died. So, treat yourself to some Malonian brilliance—and tell them Snarkie sent you!
And so we come to an end. But not before I give you the hottest e-mail address in all of soapdom: snarkieposter@yahoo.com. Use it to rant, rave, or just shoot the breeze. But, careful--I shoot back!