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Two soap operas that air back-to-back (in most time zones) wrapping up two long-running storylines in one feverous, pulse-pounding week? Must be May Sweeps. The Young and the Restless & The Bold and the Beautiful, America's two highest-rated soaps (according to Nielsen!), certainly went to extremes last week to boost their numbers. That's no big deal. All soaps pump up the volume on their storylines during this important ratings period. (Well, theoretically, they do.) But, what was really interesting this week was how far our top two daytime dramas would, and wouldn't go. As the old CBS daytime promos used to say, some of these characters were truly "on the edge."

On Y&R, the Carter Mills plot came to a head, as Carter revealed he was really the surgically-altered Matt Clark, the same person who raped Sharon, raped Sharon's friend Amy, and framed Sharon's husband, Nick Newman for attempted murder six years ago. Not only that, but Matt planned to rape Sharon again, capture it on videotape, and (just for laughs) mail it to Nick. After a frightening struggle, which ended with Sharon receiving the nastiest shiner this side of OLTL's Téa, Sharon's father-in-law, Victor Newman, arrived in what appeared to be a sports-utility tank. As Victor entered the cabin, Matt exited, on foot.

Making his way to the road, who should appear but Matt's delusional girlfriend, Tricia McNeil? Matt thought he was saved, but Tricia, having learned of some of Matt's dastardly deeds, confronted him with what she knew. Matt not only admitted what he had done, but also admitted that he was basically stringing her along, so he could gain access to Newman Enterprises' security system, as part of his plot to frame Nick for selling drugs. (Tricia's husband, Ryan, works for Newman.) Matt also reminded Tricia not to get holier-than-thou with him; after all, she backed over her sister's fiancée with a truck! Tricia maintained that it was an accident.

After a close call with the police, Matt ordered Tricia to drive him-well, anywhere but Genoa City. Tricia announced that the more she thought about it, the more Matt was right-they were both monsters. And there was only one way to deal with monsters. Giving new meaning to "pedal to the metal", Tricia accelerated the gas, and drove the car over a cliff.

A stunning finale to a dark, psychological tale of revenge and obsession, right? Of course not. Matt and Tricia were found the next morning, alive, but in critical condition, and were airlifted to GC Memorial. Why? Because, even though Tricia's "decision" would have been a completely plausible, albeit shocking, denouement to the storyline, there is an unwritten rule that you never have major characters commit suicide on a TV show. Ever. For some reason, an industry that could care less about showing murder, mayhem, drug and alcohol use, sexual infidelity, and just plain pointless risk-taking idiocy (as seen on Jackass), on a daily basis, is absolutely skittish when it comes to suicide. So, instead of a poetic ending to Matt Clark, we got a chilling, yet not as effective alternative. Following Matt's entry into the hospital, Victor had to fight to get son Nick released on bail, with dialogue like this:

VICTOR: Now, listen, Mr. D.A. I don't like you very much. I think you have a vendetta against us Newmans. Now, I DEMAND that my son be released on bail.

MR D.A.: Sheah, you know what? Uh-uh! Even though we know that Carter Mills is really Matt Clark, and that he's been a fugitive for over five years, and he worked at Nick's coffee shop without telling anyone who he was, and he has a history of framing Nick for crimes he didn't commit, I just don't think that's enough to let him go!

Since Victor has a history of getting what he wants, Nick was released. And a barely-alive (to show you how barely alive, Matt's makeup made him look like the corpse of OLTL's Colin)Matt decided he would talk-but only to Nick. After making sure that Nick wasn't wearing a wire, Carter admitted he was Matt, and that he had played Nick for a fool. Matt even told that he had drugged and raped Sharon at Nick's home moths ago. (Matt drugged and ATTEMPTED this, but did not succeed.) Realizing that Nick was not going to completely blow his stack, Matt began gasping for air. Even though the guard was in the room, standing a scant few feet away from Matt's bed, he could not tell that Matt was in distress, and Nick had to order him to get a doctor. With the guard gone, Matt began motioning for Nick to help him. When Nick came to the bed, Matt ripped the breathing tubes out of his neck, and shoved them in Nick's hand. "I win," Matt whispered with his dying breath. A chilling testament to the effects of revenge on a person's soul, to be sure. Matt was willing to end his own life just to destroy Nick's. But, I still think the other way was more original and effective.

But, at least Y&R left us with something to chew on. Living up to his nickname Badley, Head Writer/Executive Producer Bradley Bell snatched defeat from the jaws of victory this week, with the end of the long-running Morgan saga. Beyond all the camp (and boy, was there camp) was a fundamentally interesting premise. Many years ago, Morgan, a model, fell in love with playboy Ridge Forrester. Knowing that Ridge would never settle down with her, and thinking Ridge was way too young to have a child anyway, Ridge's mother, Stephanie, talked Morgan into having an abortion AND leaving town, without telling Ridge why she left or that she was ever pregnant. Last year, Morgan, now a famous designer, returned to L.A., to get what she had lost-a baby by Ridge. (And, preferably, Ridge too.) This led to a series of demented schemes, which have been chronicled in previous columns. But, beneath all the plot boilers, was the premise that Morgan's monumental decision, one that she had made under pressure and in haste, had ruined her life and turned her into an obsessive, desperate woman. If suicide is the biggest taboo on TV, abortion has got to be number two. To not only bring up the subject, but also present it in such a negative light, was profoundly daring and risky.

Having eluded the police for holding ridge's wife, Taylor, and Taylor's daughter, Steffi hostage, Morgan had to go back to the Forrester mansion one more time, to confront the woman who had probably had the biggest impact on her life: Stephanie. Sneaking into Steffi's Welcome Home party dressed as a clown, (which led to some ridiculous sequences of the menacing Morgan lurking around the house-how menacing can a clown be?), Morgan waited until everyone went home, and then confronted Stephanie by the pool. Mercifully, Morgan's clown makeup was off. Morgan demanded to know if Stephanie felt any guilt over what she had done to Morgan.

In a brilliantly acted scene between Susan Flannery (Stephanie) and Sarah Buxton (Morgan), Stephanie admitted that she felt a tremendous amount of guilt over pushing Morgan to abort, especially after seeing the effects it had on Morgan. Stephanie didn't want to talk about it, because "it wasn't her finest moment". But, through words and actions, Flannery communicated Stephanie's very real guilt. Meanwhile, Buxton showcased perfectly the emotions of a narcissistic teenager. (Morgan was no longer a teenager, but she was when she was involved with Ridge, and had clearly become stuck at that stage of development). In Morgan's immature mind, she considered this a total breakthrough. Since Stephanie felt guilt over her actions, but never really paid for it, Morgan could express guilt over her actions, without paying for it. All Morgan wanted was for Stephanie to say she was sorry, and then Morgan could forgive her. Then, she could be forgiven by Stephaine, and leave to start a new life.

Stephanie pretended to go along with this, but as guilt-ridden as she was, she could not allow a loose cannon like Morgan to roam free. As soon as Morgan left, Steph called the police. As it turned out, Morgan had not gone very far away at all (though she was still further than the guard was in Matt's room on Y&R.) Morgan snatched the phone away, and demanded to know why Stephanie betrayed her. Stephanie explained that she couldn't just let Morgan walk away-she had to pay for her actions! That sent Morgan over the edge, and Morgan tried to kill Stephanie. After a short battle, Steph punched Morgan, presumably leaving her unconscious, and knocking her into the pool. Believing she had killed Morgan, Stephanie nearly broke down with guilt, and declared how sorry she was. Then, she went inside to call the police. A sad and shocking ending to a dark story, right?

Of course not. As soon as Stephanie left, Morgan's whipping boy (every psycho villainess should have one) Tim pulled her from the pool, and escaped in the truck. After getting the lowdown from Stephanie, Ridge, Taylor, and the police raced after the truck, forcing it off the road. When the police opened the back of the truck, only Tim was there. Morgan had returned to the mansion, to get some more of Big Steph. Morgan confronted Stephanie in her bedroom, and tried to drown her in the hot tub. (What? You DON'T have a hot tub in your bedroom?) Since B&B wasn't about to get rid of their only actress who can consistently act her way out of a paper bag, Steph was rescued by her husband Eric, played by the inexplicably Emmy-nominated John McCook.

Morgan was hauled off by the police, but not before speaking the lovelorn psychotic's favorite cliché: "Ridge, I still love you!" B&B started with an interesting premise, and after months of sheer (albeit entertaining) camp, finally worked back to the premise. And, you could've gone out with a bang. Instead, it reverted to a bad TV movie-of-the-week. Normally, I don't mind B&B's emphasis on the wacky and the ridiculous, but this time I'm seriously disappointed.

They call these things daytime dramas, and sometimes dramas have a sad and shocking finality to them. But, this week Y&R and B&B took the easy-and yet convoluted-way out. They ignored the sad but logical endings in an attempt to be grim, but not too grim; scary, but not too scary; and adult, but not too adult. Being adult, but not too adult is something teenagers often do-and that is the target demo these days. Perhaps TPTB were afraid too much stark reality would scare them, and the advertisers away.

Since I anticipate your e-mails telling me what a bloodthirsty sicko I am, let me to you where to stick em: in my mailbox, of course! Just write to snarkieposter@yahoo.com. Next week, I'll move on to lighter subjects, as we near the first anniversary of Magnificently Malonian.

The preceding opinions were expressed by Snark, who likes his women caffeinated and his coffee hot. Or, is it the other way around. Eh, same difference.